Log in

No account? Create an account
Welcome to the Insanity

> recent entries
> calendar
> friends
> profile
> previous 20 entries

Tuesday, April 26th, 2016
5:23 pm

So it's my birthday. Worked a full day and came home to a child crying cause he got busted on the computer and a sick and cranky hubby. Joy. And the house is a mess and the pups have been stuck in there kennel all day....this is giving me a headache.

(1 comment | comment on this)

Monday, April 25th, 2011
5:53 pm
The next few months are going to be very hard for me. I took my dog, Holly, to the Vet last month and got told that she has a Thyroid tumor. So I took her to the Oncologist today. Best case scenario, surgery is a viable option and I spend several thousand dollars and she will live another year...maybe 2. Or, I can spend a couple thousand dollars and she will spend a few weeks at the vet getting radiation treatments and she will live another few months. Or I can spend just over a grand and give her 5 radiation treatments and she will live another month or two. Or I can give her anti-inflammatory medication and she will live however long she can, but no more then a few months.

I've had Holly for 9 years. She is my baby, my confidant, my snuggle buddy. I love her dearly and don't want her to go.

(3 comments | comment on this)

Thursday, April 14th, 2011
11:47 am - Friends
I miss having girlfriends...I used to have female friends that I could hang out with, go dancing with, chat about guys and shoes and Girl Stuff...then I got married and pregnant and had a baby and wasn't able to go out much and didn't have money to go out and my friends moved on....to the north side of town, to CA and OR, and I'm stuck here with just my husband and the very few guy friends who don't care that I'm married with a kid.

And it sucks.

I know that some of it is the fact that my husband has a rather abrasive personality and people don't want to spend time with him, but at least some should want to hang out with me. This was really brought home when I noticed that people are talking about my "friend"s wedding on May 1st and I realized that I didn't even get an invitation. I don't know what happened but it really hurts. It makes me feel like crap and makes me want to pack up myself and my son and run away...leave my husband and all my troubles and move somewhere to start fresh. But I know that would be stupid... I just need to go out and make new friends...I just don't know where to go.

Turns out I did get sent an invite to the wedding but about half of her invites never made it through the mail. So at least that issue is cleared up.

(5 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, April 13th, 2011
9:46 pm
So My birthday party has moved...Buffalo Wild Wings doesn't do Karaoke on Saturdays....So it will now be at JJ's Cantena on Scottsdale and McKelleps.

(comment on this)

Saturday, April 9th, 2011
10:52 am - Birthday Party
So for my Birthday party on April 23rd, we are going to Buffalo Wild Wings on 1130 West Grove Avenue # 106 in Mesa AZ. Anyone reading this who is in town is welcome to come say hi and happy birthday.

(comment on this)

Sunday, March 27th, 2011
11:26 pm - Birthday
For those few of you who aren't on my FaceBook, it's that time again. I need help celebrating another trip around the sun. Location to be determined. April 23rd from 9PM till we go home or pass out.

(comment on this)

Saturday, March 19th, 2011
1:10 am
so I had a photo shoot on Sunday with a friend of mine...he had a new camera and wanted to learn it. Here are a few of the shots.

Photos, probably NSFWCollapse )

(comment on this)

Tuesday, November 16th, 2010
8:10 am
gah, Idiots keep spamming my old posts. It's rather annoying.

(2 comments | comment on this)

Monday, August 9th, 2010
3:30 pm

We need help with moving today, tomorrow and Wednesday. Anyone who can help is needed, if you have a vehicle that can take stuff over to the new place, that is even better. I pay in dinner.

(comment on this)

Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010
12:07 pm - Need Help

So...Plans have changed. We are moving to a new house here in Tempe and have Mon/Tue/Wed (the 9th, 10th, and 11th) to get out of this one and need help. Anyone who can help with packing, transporting stuff, or cleaning will be greatly appreciated. We can't afford a truck (I don't get paid till that Fri) so we are hoping one of our friends with a truck (or multiple friends with trucks) can help with moving the furniture on Monday night or Tuesday. If you can help, please let me know. I can pay with food.

(2 comments | comment on this)

Sunday, August 1st, 2010
9:47 am
So Squishy's Birthday party is today. I can't believe he's 2 already. Cake is made (awaiting frosting ingredients), house is clean (Squishy helped with vacuuming), presents are wrapped, I think we are ready. He goes down for a nap at 10:30-11ish and then party at 2pm, with swimming and hotdogs/hamburgers, cake, cookies, and soda. I shall have a hyper 2 year old.

(comment on this)

Thursday, May 13th, 2010
11:03 pm - thoughts
Due to the events of my last post, I took some time and thought about all the men I've been involved with in the past...and I realized that I can count on one hand the number of ex-whatevers that can't stand me...and it takes 2 hands to count the ones that have contacted me to tell me they feel bad about...insert break up reason here...and I was the love of their life and they miss me soo much.

I sometimes feel flattered by this and sometimes I feel a great amount of pity. They obviously weren't the love of my life and I got over them long ago. I still like most of them, and there are one or two that I still care a great deal for. But I'm not pining for any of them.  I am glad that I've remained friends with so many of my ex-whatevers. Most of them are really good guys and I wish them all the happiness in the world, it just won't be with me.

There are two that I sometimes wish we hadn't parted, but I love being who and where I am and with the man I'm with.

(2 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, May 11th, 2010
3:44 pm - Writer's Block: School Daze
What was your worst experience in middle school or high school? Did it have a lasting effect on you? Do you think you learned anything positive from it?

OK, that is just creepy. I just got messaged on FB from the guy who was my very first heartbreak.  We were engaged in high school. He broke my heart and sent me into a downward spiral that lasted for a few years. He apparently went looking for me a couple of years ago and found my brothers website but couldn't get any other clues to finding me. He found Andy's FB yesterday and through that, found me. 

The reason he went looking for me? To apologize for being so stupid as to break my heart.

"I've felt terrible about how things ended between us ever since that day. I want to apologize to you from the depths of my heart. You never deserved to be treated the way I treated you. I'm so sorry. I look back at that day as the single biggest mistake of my life. There's no way I can ever make up for the pain I caused you, I know. You were the love of my life. It took a bit, but I finally realized how badly I fucked up. That last night we were together in my car, and I said, "I need to think about what just happened," and you blew up at me, telling m you never wanted to see me again, it was in that moment that I was about to convey how deeply I loved you. Those feelings have never changed after all these years. I've never gotten over you.
...I so wanted you back... It hurt so bad... I remember crying for close to a week when you told me you were engaged to someone else (I lied to try and hurt him back). I deserved it. I'm still in therapy trying to deal with the shit my family put me through... and the pain I ended up causing. I became suicidal over losing you to another... "

Good Lord Man! It's been 14 years since the last time I saw you, get over it already.

I did get a bit of sweet revenge though, his wife just handed him divorce papers and kicked him out. And he hasn't been allowed to see his son since the kid was 2 (He was engaged to the boy's mom while engaged to me). He is miserable and has nothing and I have a loving husband and a beautiful little boy as well as a beautiful daughter and her adopted family. So yea, it was a very strange morning talking over all that old pain and heartache. And then to come across this "Writer's Block" was just weird.

But hey, it worked...I wrote an actual post. :)

(comment on this)

Saturday, April 24th, 2010
3:26 pm - Good day
So after a year and a half of not being employed...I HAS A JOB!!!!!! I work for U-Haul taking reservations. I just got done with training and start my shift on Monday. The base pay is only $8 an hour but I get a bonus for making reservations...and since I'm scheduled for 45.5 hours this week, getting a bonus shouldn't be too hard.
Tonight is my b-day party...I'm turning 24 for the 7th time (you do the math). The baby will be watched and mommy is going to party like she's 24...since so many people think she is :P

The cakes are done, just need frosting...the shower has been taken...just need to figure out what to wear.

(5 comments | comment on this)

Thursday, January 28th, 2010
3:23 pm - Could use some help on Saturday

We are cleaning out our garage on Saturday. We would love to have help as it is mostly just sorting everything into garbage, donate, or keep piles. We will provide food for all who come help.

(comment on this)

Tuesday, October 27th, 2009
11:12 am

So I found a web site that has bras that actually will fit me...I'm impressed...it's been impossible to find one for less then $50 but this site has them for $32...So for all my real sized friends (size 12 or bigger), if you want sexy lingerie, try this site.


(comment on this)

Sunday, October 18th, 2009
3:46 pm - this was taken today

He's getting so big

(1 comment | comment on this)

Friday, October 16th, 2009
10:49 pm
Ok, now i've seen everything...I'm on a site called FetLife, it's for the BDSM community, and there a groups so you can discuss whatever your fetish may be...well there is a new group...BDSM Christian Virgins...yes you saw that correctly, BDSM Christian Virgins... people who are christian, virgin and into the BDSM lifestyle...and since they are virgins I'm assuming that means none of the sex related BDSM....well I guess it takes all kinds...

(2 comments | comment on this)

Thursday, October 15th, 2009
10:26 pm
Mike Powers, the owner of The Power Exchange (a BDSM sex club in SanFrancisco), had this to say about the BDSM community.
"They love me or they hate me," he said. "They either want to get a rope and string me up, or they say, 'Hey, get over here, and I'll get a rope and string you up.'"


(comment on this)

Friday, September 4th, 2009
7:43 pm - He's Walking!
Squishy just walked all by himself! I'm sitting on the couch and he was walking with his hand on the wall and he saw the cat so he took his hand off the wall and took the 4 steps to get to the cat.

(comment on this)

> previous 20 entries
> top of page